TPR

We have been waiting a long time to hear a judge rule in favor of DSS and terminate the parental rights of our sweet girl's birth parents. K is 22 months old and has been with us since she was 3 weeks old. She knows me as "mama" and Joe "daddy". The boys are her playmates and accomplices in daily mischief. But when a judge terminated parental rights on Friday, my response was mixed. While I am thrilled that we are one step closer to making K our forever daughter, in no way did I (or Joe) rejoice in the fact that a mother and father lost the right to parent this sweet girl. My heart breaks for this mom even though our adoption of a daughter is in the near future.

A Race

In middle school and high school, I was apart of the track team. I competed in sprinting events. I love to run fast. I always have. I think this from my dad. I can remember as a little girl watching him play softball from the dugout. When he ran the bases, I just assumed he was the fastest man around. And he was, at least to his adoring daughter. One day after track practice in eighth grade, I was feeling pretty confident with myself. I challenged my dad to a race. He was wearing jeans and cowboy boots while I was in full track attire. He smoked me. Needless to say I was brought back to reality.

In a matter of seconds, I was reminded that my dad, at age 35, was faster than his 14 yr old. That is the sure thing of a sprint race. You know the results quick. As an adult, I have attempted long distance running. When I say long distance, I mean 3 miles. I have learned that I do not have the patience to pace myself. I just want the running to stop after the first mile. I give it up to the ladies and gents who run and train for 10Ks, half-marathons, and so forth. I will cheer you on from the sidelines. My problem is I know one speed. I once ran a 5K at 28 minutes. I would run fast for 1/2 mile and walk 1/4 mile then repeat. I am sure you would not find that training regiment on the internet. I started sprinting regularly back in the spring. I try to go out 2-3 days a week and run 100m X 8. I am enjoying it. The children go with me, and I am done in 10 minutes.

This posture that I have towards running spills over to other areas of my life. When faced with a difficult situation, I am ready to find my way out or resolve the matter quickly. I am becoming convinced that this is due to my lack of patience and trust in what God is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. Recent examples:

It has been 7 years since I have potty trained a person. This time around, I have a little dude who is determined to do it his way. My sweet husband reminds me that this is a short season and toddler Joe will eventually get it. It is hard to see that though when I am cleaning poop out of underwear or consoling my boy when his belly hurts because he refuses to go in the toilet. Not a sprint, but there is an end.

Twenty months ago, we welcomed a sweet baby girl into our family. We knew that adoption was highly possible but may take time. I never imagined it would have taken this long and entail all the drama and continued court hearings. Not a sprint. Possible end in sight.

Our sweet girl has been diagnosed with a seizure disorder. The neurologist also tells us her brain is not normal, but he does not know exactly what is abnormal about it.  May never know. Watching her development is key. When she was released from the hospital after staying for a week in March, the neurologist said, "This is the beginning of a marathon." Me..."Um, excuse me, I don't do long distance. Not what I want to hear. Can't you find something quick and treat it so we can move on from this?" I didn't actually say that, but I thought it. Not a sprint.

I want so much for my ten year old to see sin rightly and run with abandon to Christ; not pining for the temporal pleasures of this world. Not a sprint.

These are just snippets of circumstances the Lord is giving me to respond in faith and trust in His sovereignty. I like quick answers, but God's timing is perfect. Results may not come when I expect, at all, or how I want it to turn out. Here is what I do know. I am Christ's, and he is mine.

                               

Summertime

I recently took the children to my folks by myself. It is a seven hour drive from our house, factoring in bathroom breaks. I have never been so thankful to have a portable DVD player and a stash of movies than when I make this trip alone. Toddler Joe is not a good traveller. I use to say that he would out grow this, but he just turned 3 and is still the same. So, little Joe ques up the movies and we are off. Girlie naps and laughs at the back of my head. My parents are awesome! They are active and get the kids moving while we are there. Lots of play outside which makes for good naps and rest at night. The rest of our summer has been spent prepping for the school year, remodeling the back room, getting creative on rainy days, rearranging furniture around the house, day beach trips, doctors appointments, court hearings, and celebrating the July birthday boys!

She is crazy about water. No caution what so ever.

Patch was born the year we were married. Always nice to have my dad saddle him up for an afternoon ride.

Watching his brother.

Cheap slip n slides are the best for cooling off from the heat.

He is 10! My sweet oldest, boy. He is a dear to our family. My life is richer because of him.

Memories

I recently occupied my thoughts on the idea of making memories. I tend to associate memory making with pleasant events. Vacation, first steps, special visits with friends, anniversary celebrations, nights at the baseball field. And then there's the everyday sweet memories of morning kisses, freckled-faced smiles, delight in food, play outside, maybe sleeping in! Joe and I try to be intentional about making memories; some with plans while others are spontaneous.  Not all memories are pleasant or planned, though. Anyone reading this can attest to that. Sickness, week at the hospital, more sickness, uncertainties, remodel delays, strained muscles and ER trips are some of the events that were added to our plate this season. All circumstances and situations that the sovereign Lord ordains are for his glory and our good. While many may be difficult to encounter, these events are used to remind us of our need for the Savior. We are in need of his grace. We are in need of his wisdom. We are in need of remembering that our hope is not in this present time or our present circumstance.

Our sweet girl spent a week in the hospital. Tests and medication. More to come.

I love her goofy ways.

A first haircut...by a professional

Just for fun

Playing on the lawn of a

 historical home

Strawberry picking. Strawberry grazing.

Torn back muscle. Urgent care sent him to ER after this

My feet before getting sweaty outside

Short and Sweet

Tired babes. Lego creations. PJs all day. Freckled beauty. First time response. Refreshment outside. Opportunities with Dad. Love of books. Special gifts. Needed getaway. Front seat dogs.

I love my job

Joe and little Joe went to baseball practice Saturday afternoon. The littles and I stayed at home for naps. Before sleep, though, we took a nice leisurely walk in our neighborhood. Upon returning home, toddler joe informed me that he needed to show me some dirt in the back yard. So, off we went to the back. He picked up the shovel and began to dig in the grass happily. He paused, glanced up at me and said "I love my job" then back to digging. So sweet. I am not sure if he has heard this before or came up with it himself. I'll take it either way.

To Lent or Not to Lent: that is a question worth asking

Joe's wife asked Joe about Lent. Joe confessed that he is not informed enough to make a solid decision for his family to practice it for it is not commanded in Scripture and the Apostles are not seen practicing it (that's Joe's hermeneutic for regulating esse qua non Christian and Church practices). But Joe does not think it should be forbidden. Joe can imagine how it could be used profitably. But here are some thoughts about considering the practice of Lent and preaching of the gospel.

Be careful that one does not think their sacrifice merits God's favor. This seems especially easy for unregenerate folks to do, for it is their native operating system of thinking about salvation. This is also something that children naturally think.

Be explicit with teaching justification by faith alone during Lent. In order to make the gospel clear in the minds of those practicing Lent for Christ's sake, the gospel must be explicit. Implicit church liturgy, tradition, and calendars are only beneficial to those who have received explicit instruction on the gospel of Christ. And even to those persons the explicit gospel needs constant restatements. This is much more vital than the actual practice of giving up something to prepare for thinking about Christ's coming. Clarification about repentance as opposed to penance is something parents would want to teach their children through lent. Being declared righteous by God on the basis of faith in Christ is something that many who practice Lent do not understand. Protestants should not make this mistake possible due to their lack of explicit teaching on the gospel of justification by faith alone.

Be explicit with teaching justification by Christ alone during Lent. Lent, if anything, is a focus upon Christ. It is not making oneself worthy of redemption. It is not washing oneself up for Christ. It is not a spiritual attention getter of God. It must move one toward Christ and faith in him if it is at all Christian. Traditions without teaching are fodder for self-righteous, hollow religious persons and organizations. Preaching and teaching and talking about being righteous on the basis of Christ alone is necessary to understand for Lent to be of any profit. Christ has come. Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christus Victor has no message but trust in him alone be declared righteous by the Father. Protestants should make this explicit.

Be explicit with teaching justification by grace alone during Lent. The spring-loaded hermeneutic of man with grace is that something about him or something that he has done makes God come to him with whatever understanding of redemption his mind conceives. This is not true and if Lent is Christian, it should repel this notion not foster it. Teaching during Lent that one is made righteous in God's sight on the basis of God's grace to them pulls the rug out from their self-righteous religion's feet. If divine grace alone is not taught to be the foundation for the sinner's acceptance on Christ's meritorious death and resurrection then one ought not be surprised if some come to think of their actions in Lent as the opposite of justification on the basis of divine grace alone.

There's no law against Lent nor one for it. It can be done profitably if it is in concert with and connected with an explicit teaching of the gospel of the Christ it is intended to magnify.

My days are full. But full of good things. The day begins early with my sweet husband bringing me a cup of coffee to get me going. My time of reading and prayer is mingled with the sound of little ones waking. The two youngest are jabbering back and forth. I imagine they are planning out their day. Who is going to dump the megablocks out first? What is for breakfast? Why have they not come and gotten us yet? The oldest snoozes away savoring his sleep. Then it starts. Cooking, feeding, wiping, changing, wiping, washing, teaching, sweeping, wiping, correcting, folding, washing, teaching, correcting....and so on. I have complained in my heart at the work, and I am sure my husband and children can attest to my grumbling. The Lord has been gracious to convict me of my sin and remind me of His purposes for me. This is what I was made for! My Creator has made me a wife and mother. He has ordained my days to be spent praising Him through the work that He has given me at home. What a privilege.

"A mother builds something far more magnificent than any cathedral-the dwelling place for an immortal soul (both the child's fleshly tabernacle and his earthly abode). No professional pursuit so uniquely combines the most menial tasks with the most meaningful opportunities." Dorothy Patterson