There's a new four year old in town

(I started this post a few weeks ago)

This cutie turned four last week. His birthday was filled with activities and food that he enjoys most.

Will took the day off which made it more special. We went to the pool, played games outside, and enjoyed our evening meal outside. 

I remember getting an email from our social worker, Pam, in late June 2010. She said a mom had showed up to the health department wanting to relinquish the rights to her unborn son. This mom wanted to choose a family. Pam asked if we would like to be considered. We were a little hesitant. Why? Our hearts were broken. We were about to say good bye the next day to the sweet baby girl we had been caring for the past five months. Could we risk heartache again? Pam reminded us that we knew all along that Mirah would return to her family (for which we are thankful and she is thriving!)

We told Pam that yes she could throw us in with other potential families for this birth mom to choose from. That was June 24. 

Why did this birth mom show up at the county health dept anyway? She had tried to use a private adoption agency but could not be promised that the adoptive parents would be able to be at the hospital when this baby boy was born. She was insistent that this child leave the hospital with his forever family and not waiting for placement. This is rare. Benji's case had been the first in 12 yrs for a birth mom to show up at our DSS and want to relinquish her parental rights to her unborn child.

On July 1, Pam showed up at our home unannounced. It was supper time when she knocked. She asked to speak to Will and I in private on the front porch. There she told us about meeting Sally(not her real name). Sally was a 20 yr old young woman very purposeful and determined in her mind that she was going to relinquish her rights to the child she was carrying. She told Pam that 8 months prior she had sat in an abortion clinic waiting her turn. When her name was called, she walked out of the clinic realizing she had no right to take a life and then determined to give the child up for adoption.

She asked Pam to see profiles and pictures of potential parents to her child. She didn't get further than ours. She took one look at our family photo and knew. What I love about the reason is that it had nothing to do with me and Will. Yes, she wanted stable, caring, loving parents, but Beau was the one. She said to Pam "This is my son's older brother." How kind of the Lord. We had been passed over for previous adoptions because we "already had a child". But here, Sally choose us because of our sweet Beau! 

We met Sally the following week. She was a determined young woman and very resolved in her decision to relinquish her rights. She set up a birth plan. When she went into labor, she wanted me and our social worker in labor and delivery with her.  It was difficult watching her labor through contractions for nearly 11 hrs. I felt inadequate because I couldn't help with the pain she was bearing to bring my sweet boy (her boy) into the world. When Benji was born(July 17), the nurse wrapped him up and begin to hand him to Sally. This brave one looked at me and said, "That's his mama." He was born at 7 pm one night, and she was gone the next morning by 10am. 

I have often played out the scenario in my mind of running into her one day. I will cry. I will hug her. I will thank her. But mostly I will tell of my thanksgiving to our great God who brought beauty to what seemed a hopeless, sin filled situation. This hasn't happened, and the likelihood is slim. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and the noble act of making a decision that benefited this child. He looks just like her, too!

Benji is a spit fire. He will argue his position and stand firm that he is right. His way or the highway. He gets in trouble a lot for this! He is also sweet and thoughtful. He expresses thanks frequently and tells me I am beautiful at the most unglamorous moments! He adores everything about Beau and wants his attention most of the day. Benji's favorite people are his family and spending time with them at home, around the supper table, at the park, beach, pool, or as he would say on an "venture"! (adventure)

I cannot imagine life without this boy. Thank you, God!

Legos with the "old man" dog.

He wants to be where the kids play.

Rainy day Chutes and Ladders with popcorn

My karate kid

A spontaneous trip to a small aircraft museum.

Can't see K's face. 3 stitches on the forehead.

She is our injury prone kid.

Had Beau and Benji stand in front of 'fort'!

I could write all my excuses for not blogging, but I won't. It is late on a Saturday night, my mind is tired, and I need to go to bed. You know what they say, "Sunday morning begins on Saturday night."
But a brief update for our family shouldn't take too long. Sweet K is still not officially ours, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. She likes to carry around different objects. Sometimes a toy spatula goes to Target with us or a fork. It is always random. Here lately a small etch a sketch has been a favorite. She will pretend to write her "special" name and show the cashier. I love her name.

We have been going hard this summer with our church moving to a new building. This has brought new and exciting changes.

I am tempted to think I have a hold on things at home, with schooling, and ministry. I may even try to look like I have it together. But really my children are running circles around me or wrestling in the background!

TPR

We have been waiting a long time to hear a judge rule in favor of DSS and terminate the parental rights of our sweet girl's birth parents. K is 22 months old and has been with us since she was 3 weeks old. She knows me as "mama" and Joe "daddy". The boys are her playmates and accomplices in daily mischief. But when a judge terminated parental rights on Friday, my response was mixed. While I am thrilled that we are one step closer to making K our forever daughter, in no way did I (or Joe) rejoice in the fact that a mother and father lost the right to parent this sweet girl. My heart breaks for this mom even though our adoption of a daughter is in the near future.

A Race

In middle school and high school, I was apart of the track team. I competed in sprinting events. I love to run fast. I always have. I think this from my dad. I can remember as a little girl watching him play softball from the dugout. When he ran the bases, I just assumed he was the fastest man around. And he was, at least to his adoring daughter. One day after track practice in eighth grade, I was feeling pretty confident with myself. I challenged my dad to a race. He was wearing jeans and cowboy boots while I was in full track attire. He smoked me. Needless to say I was brought back to reality.

In a matter of seconds, I was reminded that my dad, at age 35, was faster than his 14 yr old. That is the sure thing of a sprint race. You know the results quick. As an adult, I have attempted long distance running. When I say long distance, I mean 3 miles. I have learned that I do not have the patience to pace myself. I just want the running to stop after the first mile. I give it up to the ladies and gents who run and train for 10Ks, half-marathons, and so forth. I will cheer you on from the sidelines. My problem is I know one speed. I once ran a 5K at 28 minutes. I would run fast for 1/2 mile and walk 1/4 mile then repeat. I am sure you would not find that training regiment on the internet. I started sprinting regularly back in the spring. I try to go out 2-3 days a week and run 100m X 8. I am enjoying it. The children go with me, and I am done in 10 minutes.

This posture that I have towards running spills over to other areas of my life. When faced with a difficult situation, I am ready to find my way out or resolve the matter quickly. I am becoming convinced that this is due to my lack of patience and trust in what God is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. Recent examples:

It has been 7 years since I have potty trained a person. This time around, I have a little dude who is determined to do it his way. My sweet husband reminds me that this is a short season and toddler Joe will eventually get it. It is hard to see that though when I am cleaning poop out of underwear or consoling my boy when his belly hurts because he refuses to go in the toilet. Not a sprint, but there is an end.

Twenty months ago, we welcomed a sweet baby girl into our family. We knew that adoption was highly possible but may take time. I never imagined it would have taken this long and entail all the drama and continued court hearings. Not a sprint. Possible end in sight.

Our sweet girl has been diagnosed with a seizure disorder. The neurologist also tells us her brain is not normal, but he does not know exactly what is abnormal about it.  May never know. Watching her development is key. When she was released from the hospital after staying for a week in March, the neurologist said, "This is the beginning of a marathon." Me..."Um, excuse me, I don't do long distance. Not what I want to hear. Can't you find something quick and treat it so we can move on from this?" I didn't actually say that, but I thought it. Not a sprint.

I want so much for my ten year old to see sin rightly and run with abandon to Christ; not pining for the temporal pleasures of this world. Not a sprint.

These are just snippets of circumstances the Lord is giving me to respond in faith and trust in His sovereignty. I like quick answers, but God's timing is perfect. Results may not come when I expect, at all, or how I want it to turn out. Here is what I do know. I am Christ's, and he is mine.

                               

Summertime

I recently took the children to my folks by myself. It is a seven hour drive from our house, factoring in bathroom breaks. I have never been so thankful to have a portable DVD player and a stash of movies than when I make this trip alone. Toddler Joe is not a good traveller. I use to say that he would out grow this, but he just turned 3 and is still the same. So, little Joe ques up the movies and we are off. Girlie naps and laughs at the back of my head. My parents are awesome! They are active and get the kids moving while we are there. Lots of play outside which makes for good naps and rest at night. The rest of our summer has been spent prepping for the school year, remodeling the back room, getting creative on rainy days, rearranging furniture around the house, day beach trips, doctors appointments, court hearings, and celebrating the July birthday boys!

She is crazy about water. No caution what so ever.

Patch was born the year we were married. Always nice to have my dad saddle him up for an afternoon ride.

Watching his brother.

Cheap slip n slides are the best for cooling off from the heat.

He is 10! My sweet oldest, boy. He is a dear to our family. My life is richer because of him.

Memories

I recently occupied my thoughts on the idea of making memories. I tend to associate memory making with pleasant events. Vacation, first steps, special visits with friends, anniversary celebrations, nights at the baseball field. And then there's the everyday sweet memories of morning kisses, freckled-faced smiles, delight in food, play outside, maybe sleeping in! Joe and I try to be intentional about making memories; some with plans while others are spontaneous.  Not all memories are pleasant or planned, though. Anyone reading this can attest to that. Sickness, week at the hospital, more sickness, uncertainties, remodel delays, strained muscles and ER trips are some of the events that were added to our plate this season. All circumstances and situations that the sovereign Lord ordains are for his glory and our good. While many may be difficult to encounter, these events are used to remind us of our need for the Savior. We are in need of his grace. We are in need of his wisdom. We are in need of remembering that our hope is not in this present time or our present circumstance.

Our sweet girl spent a week in the hospital. Tests and medication. More to come.

I love her goofy ways.

A first haircut...by a professional

Just for fun

Playing on the lawn of a

 historical home

Strawberry picking. Strawberry grazing.

Torn back muscle. Urgent care sent him to ER after this

My feet before getting sweaty outside